Navigating FOMO: How to Align Your Spending With Your Money Values
May 19, 2021Scroll through social media or turn on the TV and you’ll find yourself faced with pictures of gourmet dinner dates, perfect destination vacations, and countless designer brand products. FOMO is real, and that fear of missing out on life is at the root of a lot of financial habits that could be holding you back.
Are you operating your finances from a place of fear or a place of value?
The emotions you bring to your finances makes a big impact on how you spend your money. They drive the “why” behind your spending habits and financial decisions.
For example: Your friends invite you out for drinks on Friday night. You know you don’t really have the funds to be going out right now, but you really want to go. Do you:
- A: Go out anyway because you’re afraid of missing out on a good time with your friends? Or maybe even fear being judged for being uptight about your finances?
- B: Skip the expensive night out and plan a game night or movie night in with your friends instead?
Response A is an example of operating your finances from a place of fear. You’re scared of missing out on life to some degree, whether that be experiences with your friends, looking successful, or “having a good life” in general. Some not-so-great financial decisions tend to follow.
Response B is an example of operating your finances from a place of value. What you truly value in this example is having a good time and enjoying life with your friends. It’s not about spending the money. When you realise what it is you actually value in your decision making (in this case spending time with friends) you can really get to the heart of your spending.
When you make financial decisions based on what you think you should be doing, you’re not living by your values. You’re living according to what you think everyone else says your values should be.
What do you value?
It’s time to get clear on your values so you can be purposeful about putting your money toward them. If you don’t have priorities that really matter to you in your budget, more often than not you’ll find yourself struggling in the spending category.
What is it you truly value? Here are some examples:
- Quality time with my family
- Laughing and having a good time with my friends
- Alone time with my partner
- Traveling and experiencing new cultures
- Self-care / mental health
- Having a comfortable home
Wants vs. Needs
Value is all about what is most important to you as an individual. But, you should still prioritize your needs as your most valuable financial goal. You need a place to live, food to eat, transportation, and basic necessities. Those come before all else.
Another way to say it is make sure your needs are covered first and factor in your valuable wants as your budget allows. Practically, that can be so hard to live out. You may have several goals that really align with your values, but you may not be able to afford them all at once.
If you have two massive, valuable goals, like getting your master’s degree and buying a home, you may have to prioritize or rethink your options. Trying to juggle huge student loans while also trying to save up for a home or manage a big mortgage is a recipe for lots of stress and maybe even disaster.
How to Align Your Spending With Your Values
The key to spending in a way that aligns with your values is starting with a value-based budget. A value-based budget basically means you list out your personal values, find what those values look like in your spending, and be purposeful about how you fit them into your budget. Your basic needs fit into this budget first, but from there, you take your values and find practical ways to put them into action in your spending.
That could be:
- You value your mental health. So, you decide you’ll budget some of your free money for weekly therapy sessions or your favorite fitness class that really motivates you and lifts your mood throughout the week.
- You value spending time with friends. So, you budget for one big night out a month and $10 every week for snacks to bring to weekly game night.
Your values and budget will be unique to you, but the benefits of value-based budgeting and spending are universal: less stress over finances, a greater sense of calm in your day-to day life, and more mindfulness in your money habits.
Navigating FOMO: Choosing Value over Fear
When you find yourself faced with a financial decision, remember your values. It’s normal - and downright human - to feel like you’re missing out on life when you say no to spending money. But now is the time to reframe your view. Saying no to fear-based spending is saying yes to your values and leaving room in your finances for the things that really matter to you.
If you’d like to explore your money values in more detail or talk about value-based budgeting, I’d love to hear from you.
Connect with or follow me on Instagram or Facebook if you want to learn more about values based living and decision making, creating a healthy relationship with money, or to see more fun adventures.
Questions: email [email protected]
Mariah Hudler, MSW, MBA, CFT-Iā„¢ is a therapeutically informed financial wealth & wellbeing coach. She works with individuals, couples, families, entrepreneurs, groups, and organizations to make Wealth & Wellbeing a joyful part of life.
Disclaimer:Ā This blog is for education only. PleaseĀ consult with aĀ qualified professional when you have any questions about your personal financial, tax, or legal situation. Information contained in this post is for informational purposes only and not intended to replace professional advice.
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