money divorce

Finding New Financial Rhythms After Divorce

financial anxiety financial rhythm after divorce mindful money Aug 01, 2022

Ending a relationship can signal the start of a huge life transition, and divorce can bring a wave of changes to many rhythms in life. House chores, paying bills, and countless regular life routines are thrown off track. You're not alone if you find yourself overwhelmed as you sort out a new path forward. While many expect the range of emotions that come with ending a relationship, most newly single individuals face financial challenges they hadn’t considered before. Finding new rhythms for your mental and financial health as you deal with money changes can help you build a better balance through the transitions of divorce. 


Reset Rhythms With Compassion


Give yourself compassion as you reset your life and find your new solo rhythm. Leave yourself room to deal with any regret, resentment, and anger from the past relationship as you move forward. Endings are messy, and feeling vulnerable as you deal with new changes and sole responsibility for finances is more than understandable. Consider adding practices to your natural rhythm of life that support your mental health. Getting outside for walks, meditating, or simply taking time to breathe before reacting can help you find a more mindful rhythm in your everyday routine. You’ll be more prepared to face financial challenges from a less stressful mindset. When we find a more peaceful rhythm in life, we naturally face situations and stresses with more awareness.


Start With Awareness


Awareness is the first step to facing new financial responsibilities, but facing the weight of decisions alone can leave many feeling like avoiding money altogether. Start by gathering all the information you need to understand your situation. Once we fully understand the bigger picture and see it all laid out, money often becomes less scary. If you are facing money decisions you used to make as a couple or had a partner who handled most of the finances in the past, it can feel overwhelming to start. Listing out all your accounts and responsibilities can help you build a sense of financial empowerment and give you a true grasp on creating your own financial rhythm after divorce. 


Start by gathering:


  • All bank and financial account information
  • Regular bills and account information
  • Other payments and financial responsibilities
  • A copy of your credit report


Build a New Rhythm


As you gather the pieces of your financial life, start putting together a bigger picture of how you want to deal with money moving forward. Since your finances have changed, now is a perfect time to build a value-based budget that supports the new life you’re making. While life transitions can bring heavy emotions and decisions, they can be an excellent opportunity to build new habits and rhythms that cultivate a healthier mindset and lifestyle. Especially with money. Create a plan for how you want to manage your money moving forward and set a monthly money check-in to keep you accountable to your goals. Staying aware of our finances and making minor adjustments each month goes a long way toward reducing financial stress. 


Find Your People 


Along your journey toward a new financial life, find people you can trust to support you. We aren’t meant to go through life alone, and having good influences in your life through changing seasons can help. Having friends and family who understand your values and support your decisions with money is essential. A therapist can be a great resource to help you work through any lingering emotions or difficulty facing your financial situation. Creating your own network of trusted advisors and friends can help you build a solid support system, especially since many separations can drastically shake up normal social life. 

It’s never too late to start building a better financial rhythm for your life, no matter when or how your life changes. While divorce can bring many endings, it is also an opportunity to create new habits and begin new routines. By purposefully building new financial rhythms, you can cultivate money skills that support your life moving forward and empower you to build a better financial future. 


Download my Financially Empowered Divorce Checklist Resource for more detailed ways to create a better financial rhythm as you face the financial changes of divorce. 


Photo by cottonbro

Questions: email [email protected]

Mariah Hudler, MSW, MBA, CFT-I™ is a financial therapist, coach & consultant, who provides premarital financial counseling, financial therapy, financial coaching & consulting, and financial wellbeing services. She works with individuals, couples,  entrepreneurs, and groups to build their balance and create a healthy relationship with money. 

Disclaimer: This blog is for education only. Please consult with a qualified professional when you have any questions about your personal financial, tax, or legal situation. Information contained in this post is for informational purposes only and not intended to replace professional advice.

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